Friday, December 25, 2009

The Small and Greedy Mouse Becomes A Nice Guy

Dear Reader,



As you know it is time for the telling of the second and last story about "The Small and Greedy Mouse." It is called" The Small and Greedy Mouse Becomes a Nice Guy."

To read the first book click here.


Please enjoy,
Ben



One beautiful summer morning Fred, known as the Small and Greedy Mouse, was packing his bags to leave for the Bad Habit Breaking Academy. He was nervous about leaving home for seven months. Fred regretted being such a greedy and spoiled mouse, but he knew he lost the contest to "Billy Bob" so he had no choice. After he finished packing he went outside and started waiting for the bus. As the big yellow and green bus pulled over, Fred kissed his mother and took one more step closer to the bus. Sadly he entered the enormous vehicle to see many older and bigger animals. He knew that this was going to be a long seven months. The bus made thirteen more stops and then drove another three hours and a half to get to the academy.





The academy looked so welcoming, but Fred knew what bad things must lie ahead. As he walked to the front gate he noticed that there were real diamonds on the hard steel. He was welcomed by a big but nice looking tiger with a gold name tag that read Yollie {"yoll-e"}. She waited for everyone to get right in front of her before she called out, "Do you know why you are all here?" Nobody answered, and everybody looked very frightened. Yollie continued, "Because our staff have caught you being greedy or mean to other animals on our planet, you will have to stay here for seven months of learning. Just in case you weren't captured by our best staff member here, I would like you to meet...Billy Bob." Fred gasped and whispered to himself, "How can I last seven months with that crazy bird?" Fred followed a couple other mice to the mouse dormitory. He couldn't sleep that dark and starless night. Bad thoughts kept popping into Fred's head of things the academy might make him do. Fred was more scared than he had ever been in his life, but he knew it was his fault.

The next day Fred woke up and was led to a big room for breakfast. The crispy bacon was very tasty, but not even the extremely delicious flavor could make him stop wondering.

At the end of the day when he finished his first friend making class, Fred headed for his dormitory. The day wasn't as bad as Fred had thought. He was very astounded because he thought it was going to be much worse.

For six months it was all the same, and Fred kept getting more and more suspicious. The food stayed the same, mouthwatering bacon for breakfast, grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch, and juicy steak for dinner.


The next day in the Great Hall Billy Bob came and announced that they would be having exams in one week. Fred was so happy because exams meant that the seven months were almost over. However, when he found out the test was to be in front of a professor and had to be perfect, he thought he would be coming back for another seven months. Fred didn't want to come back even though it was a nice and peaceful place, so he studied more than he had ever done in his life. Every night he would read as much as he could before he drifted off to sleep.

It was the last day before the exams started. Fred studied all night, and since he didn't have his first exam till 1:oo he slept all morning until 11:30. When it was time for the exam, he knew practically all the answers. At his first exam for making friends he got an A+. He was so happy that he had no more pressure on him for the rest of the day.

He ended up passing every class except stopping greediness. Fred didn't mind because all he had to do to finish the class was have a tutor come to his house for two months. Fred was so happy that he was leaving the academy the next day.



The bus ride home was much better than the one to the academy because instead of everybody panicking they were all bragging about graduating.


When Fred got home his mom was waiting for him at the big stairs. Fred ran to her and hugged her for about two minutes.

After, they sat by the fire place and heard a knock on the door. Outside was another bus waiting, and Fred's dad jumped out the door. Fred's dad worked for the town hospital, and he was their top doctor. The mouse military had asked him to do some medical checks on some of the new recruits.

They all hugged and sat by the fire drinking hot cocoa, and they all lived happily ever after.




How did you like the story?

If you write your own story, and you have a blog send me a link in a comment.






2 comments:

Mrs. Yollis said...

Dear Ben,

Wow! I am so impressed with your writing. Your details and vocabulary really help make the story great.

It wasn't just a bus, it was a yellow and green bus. They didn't just drive to the school, you wrote:

The bus made thirteen more stops and then drove another three hours and a half to get to the academy.

I can also tell that you are revising your drafts. Am I correct? It read like you have gone over it several times to make it better. The vocabulary choices are outstanding. Super job, Ben!

:-)
Your proud teacher,
Mrs. Yollis

P.S. I would not put your email address in a post. #1 it is too much personal information and #2 it makes you a rich target for spammers.

Instead, invite your readers to send you a link to their stories from their blogs. :-)

Anonymous said...

Dear Ben,

I am not a big fan of hockey but I love ice skating I took ice stating lessons.


Love,
Anais